Overcoming Rejection is certainly one of the most difficult experiences.
Repeated rejection tends type casts you as an inadequate, inappropriate or unwanted person.
What does Overcoming Rejection involve?
Rejection is essentially about somebody not giving you the due or saying “no” to you.
Overcoming rejection becomes even more painful when you have invested all your energies into something that someone does not recognise.
Those leads you to question – why me? Write often you slip into thinking that if someone you expect to recognize your value, maybe it isn’t there!
Pain is a natural outcome when this happens. It leads to a tendency of self-self doubt about your own values.
You may build a wall to isolate yourself from everyone, which further compounds the situation.
Also, your self-esteem dips in order to avoid more rejection. The need for acceptance is natural, especially from those who you have given you the utmost time and energy. However, when there is Rejection, instead of going into a tailspin of self-pity, self-doubt, and isolation, we must try to look at the situation in a different, more positive perspective.
Strategies for Overcoming Rejection
1. Understand that Rejection is NOT a validation of something that is true.
Just because someone rejects you or doesn’t like something about you does not imply that it is actually bad or unwanted by everyone. It’s merely a question of mismatch in someone’s prospective.
Understand that he or she rejects you not because of what you offer is totally wrong. It is simply that it is a mismatch in mutual perspective and they are not seeking what you are offering.
Remember – Rejection is NOT validation.
2. Face your emotions when Overcoming Rejection.
It is sometimes seen that there is a tendency to suppress your emotions on being rejected. Suppressing the feelings of pain makes recovery difficult. This is because denial will hinder your efforts to overcome the pain. Recognizing your feelings makes you resolve to overcome it.
3. Treating yourself with compassion.
At the time when you are at the lowest of your feelings, it is very important that you treat yourself with overwhelming compassion. Do not let the situation make you change your feelings towards yourself!
Therefore, if treat you are truly interested in overcoming Rejection, then treat yourself with more self-acceptance, self-respect, self-love, and compassion.
It is ironic that we tend to do the exact opposite of this when rejected! We blame and devalue ourselves thinking that if we do that somehow we will change ourselves it will make them love us.
Self-pity and self-hate is the most dangerous type of coping mechanism.
We need to practice the opposite – self-valuing, self-acceptance, self-love, and compassion for ourselves.
4. Overcoming Rejection involves improving self-esteem.
Low self-esteem develops when we don’t feel that our family, peers, and others value us adequately.
5. Change your self-value assessment.
Value implies something as being useful, beneficial or important. You have to change your value system and view yourself as someone with positive values irrespective of the rejection by someone.
6. Be flexible.
Most People who go through thru rejection have fixed mindsets and believe that change is not possible. They do not believe in the potential for growth and improvement.
It is important to change to the growth mindset – a mindset that does not see things as set in stone, especially the self.
Life is flexible and you are flexible. Face up, and seek to understand and change your behavior regarding your own perceptions about things being fixed and unchangeable and therefore inevitable.
7. Develop better relationships
We appropriate answers within ourselves about why we’ve been rejected, and generally, these answers are wrong!
It is important to understand the two real reasons for rejections-
1. Make your self aware. Being open to the reason can open your choices whether you want to continue the way you are or are willing to change certain things about yourself.
2. Or you know what you have is valuable yet the other person doesn’t want it.
It is THEIR problem.
All over the world, countless valuable things are rejected all the time simply because someone doesn’t connect with their value!
It’s got nothing to do with you, but everything to do with the evaluation and choice of someone else!
It’s all the question of incompatibility. It has got nothing to do with your self-worth. Every person in his/her own way it’s right and wrong.
Everyone looks for something they want, which he/she perceives as not coming from you. Or they are shifting their focus to something else!
Things to Remember
It is NOT your valuation, but their choice. Accept it and respect it. Only turn you will be able to gain back your self-respect and self-esteem.
Be brave enough to stop telling yourself the stories why you’ve been rejected.
Out of rejection can come your strongest sense of direction. Do not isolate yourself to go into grief. Reach out to those who make you feel wanted. Keep the good company that recognizes your worth and does not have expectations from you.
Overcoming Rejection is about keeping yourself in the company of soothing relationships and NOT the person or situation that brought you to this level!
Rejection has negative effects on your sense of belonging. By deliberately seeking out people who might value you and bring feelings that are gentle, soothing and loving stabilizes your sense of belonging.
Rejection is not about you alone. It is a universal phenomenon. Some of the most loving people throughout history, like Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, etc were rejected to the extent of being jailed! Most of the scientists like Edison, explorers like Columbus, etc too were rejected initially. Yet they had the inner strength to overcome rejection of what they were professing.
Everyone feels the pain when they are rejected. How you try and keep your mind open about Overcoming Rejection determines whether the pain becomes suffering.
Overcoming Rejection also depends upon how a person uses it to find deeper awareness, personal truth, and direction.